Anger Management
by Merv. Secker, Dip. C.H, CMAHA

Anger management is, I know, a diverse process. Anger has many causes and there are many different methods of dealing with these issues to bring about a resolution. This is a process which, whilst it does not of itself resolve anger completely, does provide a useful tool in working with a client and enabling a reduction in the clients reaction to an anger producing situation. It utilizes Spontaneous Trance and Interspersal Hypnotic Techniques

I have noticed as I worked with clients with anger issues (as well as with self-esteem and depression) that it appeared as if the client was “taking on board” the perceived “slight” or “comment” and in consequence were reacting to what they felt was a putdown directed at them.

This process is designed to increase their awareness of their actions and to enable them to recognize that they can take a different course of action which will reduce their perceived need to feel angry or depressed.

Visualize, if you can, a normal therapy session:

You are discussing the issues with the client and finding where their perceived problems lay. The client has reached the point where they have explained that they are having anger management or depression problems and in discussing the issues have indicated/or inferred that they are taking “on board” the issues put up by the other parties in the process.

I look at the client and pick up the Teddy bear and, not saying anything, throw it at them, then sit and wait while they catch the teddy bear and watch what they do, still without saying anything. Invariably they will catch it and look at it and continue to hang onto it with a rather confused look on their face . I give them a little while, still not making any comment, then ask for it back. They throw it back (or pass it) to me. I catch it. Look at it. (Often a spontaneous trance is invoked by the client about now, if not, then very shortly)

Then put it down on the side table. I look back at the client, pause, and have the following conversation (or something similar depending on the client response).

Merv, “What just happened?”

Client, ” You just threw the teddy at me.”

Merv, ”And?”

Client,” I threw it back.”

Merv, ” No. Something else happened.”

Client, ” I caught it”

Merv, ” And?”

At this point the client is usually totally confused (and has accessed a spontaneous trance state) so I then take the lead .

Merv, ”You caught it, and you held on to it, and you continued to hold it until I asked for it back, and you threw it back to me, and I caught it and I looked at it, and I decided I did not want to hold on to it, and I PUT THE BEAR DOWN”

Merv, ”Tell me, when anybody throws anything at you do you always catch it and hold it? When are you going to give yourself permission to PUT THE BEAR DOWN. If you catch hold of something you don't have to hang on to it if it causes you distress. You can just PUT THE BEAR DOWN and get rid of it. Of course you may choose to not catch it in the first place, that would work well too wouldn't it?”

I then continue with discussing the clients issues and where applicable insert the comment “PUT THE BEAR DOWN” or pick up the bear and put it down with no comment. Later I give the client a small key chain with a teddy bear on it “to remind them TO PUT THE BEAR DOWN” when they need to.

I have used this process for some time now with very positive results.

The bear I use is a small (about 15cm), very soft and pleasantly tactile bear ( so that I can throw it around without injuring the client or breaking any thing in the office) You do not have to use a bear, a soft ball (foam) would work as well. However I believe that the subconscious associations of most people with Teddy Bears assists in making the process more effective.

I have in the above description Capitalized “PUT THE BEAR DOWN” this is to indicate that this phrase utilizes the Interspersal Hypnotic Technique and its repetition reinforces the suggestion.