I had just fnished a long night filled with two tough shows and was now sitting in my hotel room with a person asking that I work some of my 'magic' on their 'insecurity problem'. Considering that I would have to leave early the next day and would probably not be in this remote corner of the country for another year or so when I returned to do the club again, this would be the only chance I had to
'make it happen'.

As I sat listening to her explain how she didn't dare to take chances, how she had missed out on so much over the course of her lifetime because of her fears, I could hear that highly insensitive voice inside of me wanting to yell, "Oh.....why don't you just grow up. Quit running from invisible monsters. Get out there and take chances, don't waste your life away....CARPE DIEM...LADY!!!!" 

Fortunately one of the few real 'truths' I've learned over the years is that it's
almost always a safe bet to keep my innermost thoughts to myself.

I did, however find myself in a very strange dilema. It's a situation I often encounter in these 'one chance only' encounters. Here was someone coming to me with a problem that by all rights deserved 3 or 4 sessions at least. Any good therapists would tell you that the process of going 'from here to there' would take much more than a single step. She would have to learn to accept the honest truth about herself. She would also have to come to understand that most of her fears were unfounded and probably were serving as a shield for her low self image. I would have to not only instil in her an understaning of the problem, but she would also have to leave with enough self-empowerment to feel capable and willing, to do precsely what whe was so scared of doing, facing the unknown. And all of this would have to happen in the single hour and a half I usually offer for my 'on the road' therapy sessions. For me to be even slightly successful would require nothing short of a miracle.

And then it hit me. For years I had been managing to pull off a very good percentage of these 'Miracles', but I had never really stopped to think much about them. I just assumed I had managed to work out patterns that were quite effective. But why they worked had never really preoccupied much of my time. Maybe it was the fact that I was extra tired and was working hard at giving her the attention she deserved, or maybe I was in one of my 'thinking moods'. 
I don't know why, but I had what Zen Buddhist's call a 'Satori', a moment of enlightenment, a second when it all seems to come together. And for what it's worth, I'd like to share it with you now.

It was probably 15 years ago when I first started taking on the more complex cases during my 'single session' therapy opportunities. For years I had limited myself to dealing with smoking, weight loss and a few simple phobia issues, but then, for some reason, I agreed to take on a more involved case and as I started tackling the 'monsters' I started having a very high rate of success. Today I
can safely take credit more times than not for pulling off these 'hard to believe' cases.

As I sat looking at the lady with the self esteem issues, I found myself plotting my next move. When there's a lot to tackle quickly, I almost take on the persona of a slow moving faith healer. I carefully milk every one of the 90 minutes I have to work. Instead of wasting a lot of time using non-directive therapy and trying to get the client to come to conclusions herself, my approach is far more direct. In
fact, if you were to video one of these sessions and then show sections out of context, you would probably call me brutal and insensitive. But I get the results. And again, it all starts long before the client walks in the room...

Most of my 'one session' therapy takes place after a person has seen my show somewhere. They've watched me do things that seem impossible to them, and they decide to take the 'leap in faith' and ask if I can help them with their problem. Before they walk up, they already have a well rooted belief that I know much more than they do about their thinking process. I can almost expect them to believe that if I can make them feel things or do things the way some of the volunteers on stage did, I can surely cure whatever ails them. To a 'secular' therapist this might be accomplished by developing a good front room appearance and promoting heavily for word of mouth referrals, which usually bring with them the 'miracle worker' mystique. Testimonial letters hung on a display in the
lobby might help. Personally I'd go on and ask for them at the end of each session, explaining that you're trying to put together a display that will help future clients get right to their issues. But the bottom line is, by the time we start talking therapy, my clients already believe I'm capable of anything I say I can do. It doesn't hurt that in most cases, I'm having to turn down people asking for sessions, which makes the 'fortunate few' feel they're in for a real special treat. 

Before inviting them to my room, I usually do an informal 'let's see if I'll be able to help you' session in a corner somewhere in the club. I ask about the problem and make a point of asking at least a couple pointless questions. I go into this technique in quite depth in last months column, but for those who didn't get a chance to read it, the 'pointless question' technique involves asking a question or
two that seem to have nothing to do with what's going on. Questions like "were you into sports when you were in high school?" right in the middle of a conversation about fear of snakes is sure to convince the client that somehow you know to look for things he doesn't understand, that somehow you're capable of reading far more than they are into what's being said.

After listening for a while, and tossing in a couple 'pointless questions', I take that 'I'm not sure this is going to work' look. I have this one pose I've developed over the years where I cross my right arm across my chest and then rest my left elbow on top of the back of my right hand. I bring my clenched left fist up to my mouth. It almost looks like I'm sucking my thumb. I then sort of bounce my left fist off my lips a time or two. A little staring off into the distance and the message comes across loud and clear. Any halfway alert client will immediately get the message. It reads, 'I know I can do the job, but I'm not so sure I can do it for you'. I'll then look the client straight in the eye and in the case of the lady with the self esteem problem, say something to the effect of:

"Well, Cathy, I know I can help you get over this issue, but it most certianly won't be easy." I'll then pause for effect and wait for a reaction. In most cases, I'll proceed with: "How serious are you about dealing with this probelm?"

Most will start begging, telling me they've tried everyting, and would give anything to not have to deal with this problem any more.

"Well, let's be completely honest here," I'll take on the "therapists" look, "If you had come into my office back home and asked to deal with this kind of issue, I would have told you you needed at least 4 sessions to get down to business. The first session would have been spent getting you used to the hypnotic state and helping you get started, the second would help you explore why you're having
these problems, the third would start creating thought patterns that would help you deal with the issues and the fourth would reinforce and clean up any areas we find haven't been adequately covered in the other three. We don't have the luxury of this kind of time. All we have is 90 minutes to do it all. It is doable, but it won't be easy, not by a long shot. Instead of slowly suggesting what
might be the problem, we're going to have to simply stir up the mud and check to see what floats to the top. It's going to mean a lot of very blunt soul searching on your part, and almost brutal honesty on mine. But once we get it all out and dealt with, you'll have all you need to get on with your life.
"Now I'll understand if you feel you're not ready to face reality at this point," I'll pause and watch for a response. "But if you are, then I think we're ready to schedule an appointment."

At that point I quickly weed out the serious from the looky loos. Basically, I won't even get started unless I have a good feeling that the client is willing to "do anything" to reach a solution. And even after I'm convinced, I make a point of forcing them to beg, more for their benefit than mine. The bottom line is, the reason I can boast such a phenomenal rate of success, isn't because I'm such an
incredible therapist, it's because I only take on clients that are mentally ready to change. And as word gets out about how effective I am, those "ready" few have a way of seeking me out. The next time I come to this town, you better believe I can count on getting at least 2 or 3 calls to my hotel room from people who have been waiting all year for their one chance to 'be cured'. After trying to
discourage them, the session usually goes on something like this:

"Well, Mr. Morgan," they'll usually start with all the social properness well in place, "I really do want to deal with this. If you think you can do it, I'm willing to give it a try."
"Cathy," I'll pause as if trying to read her mind, " This may be more than you're ready to handle right now," I'll pause again and look for the disappointment in her eyes, when I see it, or even if I don't, I'll continue, "Do you think you can handle digging out emotional skeletons so we can help you get on with your life?"

If she makes it this far and still says yes, I'll schedule a session, if not, I'll go back and look up one of the others I turned down earlier. In my private therapy setting I used to accomplish this same pre-screening by offering a "free" introductory 20 minute session so I could determine if the person could be hypnotized and whether or not hypnotherapy would work for them. This induced the timid to 'give it a try' and helped fill my schedule for the week. My intro sessions were all held during the 4 hour period between 8 and 12 noon on Saturday morning. If you allowed about 15minutes a person, and 5 minutes to let them out and bring the next person in, that allowed for only 12 people a week. This guaranteed that my schedule was always full (there's something magical about telling a client the first time Mr. Morgan can see you will be at 9:45 on Saturday morning, two
weeks from now). It also pretty much guaranteed me about 5 or 6 new clients a week, which, added to the caseload I already had, tended to keep me as busy as I wanted to be. Considering I make $150 a session, the 'free' 15 minute 'get to know you' session is payed for out of this.

Not that Cathy has agreed to do the 'test of fire' so she can finally get results, I set a time for our session. When she walks in, I greet her warmly at the door. Whenever I'm working with a woman, I always ask them to bring someone they feel comfortable being open with with them. There's too many "iffy" situations involved in being in a hotel room (or even a therapy room) alone with a woman. This second person is told, sternly, as he or she enters the room, that this session is for Cathy's benefit and that it is very important that they sit quietly and try not to distract Cathy. I even add here that, "the therapy will begin long before we ever actually hypnotize Cathy. Just how effective it will ultimately be will depend on just how focused and emotionally involved Cathy is in the porcess. If you talk or distract her at all, you might very well be the reason our session today doesn't work." This comment is almost always overkill for the companion, but for Cathy it establishes our standard. In a subtle way, I just told  her to expect that things will start changing within that mysterious 'inner mind' I'm supposed to be an authority on as soon as I start talking. Both are very powerful set up suggestions.

I'll then have Cathy sit, facing me, in the chair or bed where she'll eventually be hypnotized. I'll ask her a few questions and try to get her to open up about her innermost concerns relating to her problem. As she talks I go out of my way to make her feel I'm reading every body motion, every flinch of her eyes. I smile a lot and try to be as compassionate and empathetic as I can be. Again I interrupt every now ant then with a pointless question to make her feel I'm looking for subtle, hidden clues to what ails her. I'll put on this show, for roughly 5 to 8 minutes, even if I have a pretty good idea of what we're dealing with. It helps her to open up, and it gives me a chance to do some patterning. For those of you not into NLP, this is kind of like mirroring their body postures and movements, and mimicking their breathing. It does the job of creating trust and helping to establish rapport with the client. 
I also listen for subtle clues I can ask about next, something that again establishes the fact that I am interested and carefully listening. I might ask something like:

"You said you moved a lot when you were young. How do you feel that affected your abilities to interact with others?" Yes, it sounds like a nondirective approach, but it's aimed more at helping her feel secure being vulnerable around me. Once she feels she doesn't mind telling me whatever is really going on inside, and once I feel she feels I only have her best interest in mind, I get going with the
'tough love' approach to therapy.

I remember hearing an interview with several people that had spent time with the Dali Lama. To hear each of them speak, you'd almost have to believe this guy had some kind of mystical ability to make people believe they could change. American politicians, fortune 500 executives, even a protestant missionary all seemed to agree that this was a truly wise man, a person who really cared. And the one thing they all seemed to notice, even though they were each interviewed seperately, was that when you spoke with the Dali Lama, he made you feel important. While you were in the room with him, it was almost as if all the rest of the world had dissapeared and all that mattered to the Lama was what you said and what was happening mentally and emotionally inside you. Basically, when
you left the room, whether you agreed with him or not, you left convinced that here was a man who cared, a person capable and willing to drop everything else in life to truly give you his complete, undivided attention and compassion while you were in his presence.

Far be it from me to try and start my own religion, but I do know that over the years I've used this little 'gem' as one of my goals. Whenever I'm doing therapy, I enter an almost self hypnotic state where I'm totally immersed and captivated by what the client has to say. At the bottom line, it's this 'he's interested in what's best for me' feeling that gains me permission to dig fast and deep in these 'quick fix' sessions.

My basic therapeutic approach for Cathy might go on something like this:

"Cathy, I don't think you're problem is that you're afraid of what may happen, as much as I think it's a fear of your inability to deal with situations." It's impossible to fight that statement. Think about it. I just came across as contradicting her and telling her I know more about her than she does, but I did it without giving her any ammunition to fight back with. I basically said, in 'Doctoreeze', "You're not
scared of monsters, it's the monsters that scare you." I usually spend most of the 5 minutes opening 'comment' period, trying to word one of these nonstatements aimed exclusively at establishing the fact, in her mind, that 'it's useless to fight back. Just relax and let him talk.' 
Once I get the feeling that she's not orchestrating a fight, I can get her agreeing with me on any issue at all. What's important during this second phase, is to make her establish in her mind the fact that I am the authority. I usually do this by moving on to third party anecdotal accounts:

"Have you ever noticed how some people seem capable of just diving into any situation, how they seem to have no worries or concerns in life, they're just here to push the limits every day?" I'll wait for her answer which invariably has to be yes.

"Let's try a little exercise here," I'll continue, "just close your eyes for a moment and listen to what I'm saying. Now I'm going to ask you questions and I want you to be completely honest with me as you answer each, " I'll wait for her to close her eyes and become a part of this "ritual" that serves no purpose other than to get her to obey my orders and help cut down on distractions.

Once her eyes are closed I continue, "Try to see such a person. Avoid people you really know so you don't bring in your own biases here. Just imagine a person who knows how to have fun. What king of things does he or she like to do?" I'll wait for an answer to make sure wee're on the same page, "I want you to see that person at an office party. He or she is busy working the room,
networking like a pro." I'll make a point of creating a scenario Cathy can relate to. It might be standing at the cooler, meeting at a locker, or in line at the cafeteria, anyplace Cathy can relate to intimately.

"Tell me about that person." I'll get her to create a mental image of their personality, character, likes, dislikes, desires, obsessions, everything. In reality, I'm trying to give myself ammunition to tear into her with in a moment. Anything she sees as noble in this person, is almost certainly something she feels she is missing out on. This 'let's imagine the perfect person' technique also helps establish a powerful sense of rapport between us. This period also allows me to get her to visualize and work on her abilities to focus.

"Okay, let's get down to business." I'll shift gears and look up at her with a "I'm in control now" demeanor. In almost every session, I'll take a piece of typing paper and draw a cross right through the middle of the page, dividing the page into 4 equal corners. At the top, left hand corner of the page I'll write a plus sign followed by a tiny word 'STAY'. On the top right hand corner I'll write a
minus sign followed by the word 'STAY'. On the bottom left hand corner I'll write, in tiny letters at the very corner, a plus sign with the word, 'CHANGE'. Finally, on the bottom right hand corner I'll place a minus sign followed by the word 'CHANGE'. There are very few therapy issues where this technique doesn't work wonders. It's aimed at 'getting it all out' quickly.

"Cathy, what we are about to do is going to change your life." 
I'll state emphatically, as much as a suggestion as an observation, "It's very important that you dig deep and pull out all the stuff you can during this exercise, because anything that doesn't come out is going to eventually surface and hinder
your ability to change." I'll then ask her to start telling me every reason she feels exists for her remaining the way she is. Basically, on the top left hand corner we're going to write all the 'plusses' associated with 'STAYing' the way she is. I push to have her dig deep, at this point refraining from making any suggestions of my own. We'll list, in this case, statements like, "It makes me feel safer to hide.", "If I avoid problems there's a lot better chance I'll never get in trouble." and so forth. On the top right hand corner you have her tell you what she thinks will happen if she doesn't change. Basically the negatives associated with 'STAYing'. The bottom left lists positives of 'CHANGEing' and the bottom right the negatives she associates with 'CHANGEing'. Things like "I'll be forced to do a lot of scary things," or "I'm sure to get hurt emotionally and maybe even physically if I don't hide a lot" might end up on the bottom right. Once the sheet is finished, have her look it over carefully and add anything she feels she forgot. After she's finished, and has pulled everything out she can, I'll go on and make a few suggestions of my own. This is where I tend to get brutal. "Come on, Cathy, I'm sure you can think of a few more." I'll comment with a smile. Once she's clear out of ideas, I'll suggest some of my own. "Cathy, while listening to you talk, I can't help but wonder if maybe you aren't also afraid of the reactions you'll get from your husband if you suddenly become assertive." If she agrees, we add it to the list. We talk for about 10 minutes, making sure we've pulled it all out. Ultimately, most issues can be boiled down to "It sounds like you've allowed your inner mind to run off in some pretty strange tangents. Why don't we aim you at being in control and doing the things you know deep down, you really want to do."

At this point in the therapy I could almost send her home and expect her, at the very least, to get a good feeling for what the real issues are. But I still haven't hypnotized her. I explain hypnosis and dispell any fears she might have and do a quick session. No therapy, just "learn to relax and focus" session after which I bring her out and talk it over. I usually end up explaining again how hypnosis is merely a way of thinking and that she should not expect some 'magical lightning bolt' to take over her mind. Once we're past that I'll hypnotize her again, creating some 'real life' metaphors for her. I'll have her see herself in situation she feels uncomfortable and have her experience the very feelings she most dreads. I then have her feel herself doing something (squeezing her hand, touching the top of her mouth with her tongue, anything that can become an anchor later on) and
suddenly finding herself in control of her feelings and emotions. I have her imaging herself standing up in the meeting and taking control. I have her imagine herself in front of a group doing a dynamic speech and then I always have them alone, in bed at night, staring up at the ceiling, feeling great about how well they've handled the day. Eventually everybody will go to bed at night. It's a powerful anchor to have them use that as a time to celebrate the 'one day at a time victory'.

I'll then have them stay hypnotically focused, telling them to sleep well, making sure they're very deep, but then I'll have them open their eyes and face me. I'll create powerful metaphors for them in what is almost a virual reality setting:

"Cathy, when you open your eyes, you're going to see yourself in your office. I'm your boss and I feel you haven't done your job right. You know you've done the best job you can and when you open your eyes you're going to find yourself very capable of staring me straight in the eyes and explaining why you did things the way you did."

This little exercise always runs chills up my spine. To see someone who a few minutes ago had to look down at the floor in order to tell you she had a problem now staring straight at you and standing for her rights is a very powerful metaphor, something that will stay with her for years to come. I'll even argue a bit with her, being careful not to fluster her or drag this out to long.

After we've done the hypnosis, I'll explain her need to 'break past the moment'. Any time her mind feels like running off on its own tangent she'll need something to stop it and pull back on the reigns. I teach them to think of a song they like to sing. In their minds, I have them sing that song as loud as they can for about 10 seconds. After that they're going to find they've broken the 'train of thought'
and will no longer revert to the old patterns. Now, as they get started, in Cathy's case, I'd explain that she needs to stand up straight, raise her head up, look towards the ceiling for a moment and take a deep breath, after that, she's going to find there's nothing out there that can scare her. Yes, it's a hypnotic anchor, but if you try that, you'll find that it's impossible to feel 'down and out' while
standing (or sitting) straight, with your head up high, looking at the ceiling while taking a deep breath.

I finally explain to her that she will have to spend about 2 weeks actively fighting the "habit" of feeling down. After that it'll be gone from her system and she'll find herself savoring her 'never being beaten down' feeling for the rest of her life. I explain in some detail this '2 week' breaking period in my column of 'What is Hypnosis' that came out a few months back, but basically, according to behavior scientists it takes the mind about 2 weeks to overcome a behavior that's become habitual.
Things like looking down when people talk to you, letting your shoulders slouch and taking short, nervous breaths when under pressure are all bad habbits Cathy can beat if she thinks about them consciously for 2 to 3 weeks.

As Cathy prepares to leave I almost become a coach. I quiz her on how she plans on behaving in various situations. Rather than end on a low, depressing note, I point out how quickly she can react to situations and how excited she seems to be to tackle life. I encourage her to use my self hypnotic tapes every morning for the next month at least so she can continue to feel herself being in control (I always give a self hypnotic CD to all my "one shot" clients and stress that they need to follow up daily if they want to make it work). As she prepares to leave, I ask her partner, the person who came with her, if he or she can see any difference in Cathy. Getting the "I can't believe my eyes" from someone she trusts is a very powerful anchor to build on. I thank her and send her on her way.

It may not work for everybody, but it definitely works for me. Finding some way (other than dragging therapy out for 8 months) to get to the bottom of the issue without allowing pride and ego's to flare up seems to be the real key to making it happen. Learning to quickly gain a clients trust and confidence also seem to be key ingredients. Finally, if you establish early on that you aren't going to lie to them, you aren't going to sugar coat problems and try to tip-toe through issues, they appreciate it much more, and believe you much more, when you tell them near the end that you think they're going to make it. 

I personally can pretty accurately "pigeonhole" most of my friends into one of three categories (or a gray area between them). Some are so busy looking for acceptance that regardless of what I do they're going to smile and tell me I'm wonderful. Those types are probably good for my ego, and certainly know how to make me 'feel good' but let's be honest. In the real world, when things aren't going right, feeling good isn't always the best place to be. The second group tells me what they think society expects them to say. They're well intentioned but not capable of thinking for themselves. After a show, if they think everybody else liked the show, they'll tell me it was great. If they feel everybody else thought the show stunk, regardless of what they might think themselves, they'll 'confidentially' explain, in their best 'therapist' demeanor, how I need to work on the show.
Unfortunately, far too many therapists fall into this category. Instead of taking the time to figure out for themselves what's wrong with a client, they spend their time trying to match symptoms up to some chart of 'Freudian Psychotic Behaviors'. They then check line B to see what their 'heartfelt' diagnosis should be. In my own, probably biased, opinion anybody who sits in either of these two categories has no business practicing therapy. Yes, it's good to consider the finding others have worked out, but personally I've never met a really good therapist who wasn't capable of taking all the wisdom of years of experience and study and setting it on a back burner somewhere. As they listened to each client, they pulled only what was needed as they determined their own diagonsis. 
If you can do this well, then anybody ready to change is going to welcome your fresh, direct diagnosis.